Solution for marriage problems

      **These are some collections of thoughts and reflections in my notes during the service. Not intended for formal essays, blogs nor academic writing.

    Years ago I heard from a preacher having married for 30 years he always learns something new about his wife.1 Observing my parents they tell me they still don't know each other. Yesterday the same phenomenon had been mentioned.2

    How long can we truly know a person? Or can we? How many years will it take for you to know the person that you've married? Or is it achievable? 

    Depending on which lens you are looking at this reality. One may treat it as something disappointing or frustrating for marriage. Or one could treat it as the beauty and uniqueness of marriage that's why it makes it more delightful day after day. Learning something new about your spouse and finding new ways to walk together as one, and honoring God with your day-to-day interactions.

    You cannot fully know a person before you marry. It is a myth. Most people as time goes by they learn something new about their spouse. Even after 3 years, 5 years, or 10 years they discover something new. In order and the way for the marriage to last is that through Christ. The foundation of marriage must be through, by, for, with, and in him. 

"But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."3 - James 3:17-18

    With Christ's love as the foundation of marriage, there's no room for showing off or pointing fingers whenever a fight or argument arises. Why? Because forgiveness and love that Christ had modeled and demonstrated through the cross is the basis upon how much, and why they ought to forgive, and are willing to act in humility with one another. 

    The marriage is not performance-based but a grace-filled relationship because the center is the cross, not some fancy words or romantic tryst that Hollywood portrays.


Footnotes:

1 Former senior pastor of Victory Fort in the 2000s

2 Cunanan, Fer. "The Foundation of Marriage (Part 2)". Sermon at ENCM, Mississauga, ON, October 10, 2021.

3 English Standard Version Bible. (2001). ESV Online. https://esv.literalword.com/


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