Why James 3:17?
A preacher once explained who you are is the by-product of how your parents brought you up.1 Who you are reflects what type of father your "dad" /"papa" / "tatay" is. Fathers play a major role in the identity and development of their offspring. If the father is generous, his children will be generous. If the father is a peacemaker, his children will often be the ones to initiate peace and order with his friends. If the father is athletic and values fitness, no wonder that his children will like sports or become physically active.
The other extreme is true. If the father is addicted to gambling, the son/daughter might end up gambling. If the father smokes, so does the next generation after him.
Recently, living away from my parents for the first time in life greatly benefited me in 2 ways: I learned new lessons and perspectives in life, and I appreciate how my parents brought me up and the things that they did in my life to express how they fully love and care for me unconditionally.
I fully realized how thankful I am that God has given me Candy as my mother, and Allan as my father.
I am proud to say that my father is a peacemaker, disciplined, didn't get easily angered, and he always thinks of the betterment of our family. When it comes to our family relationship, he always depended on God's grace rather than his own. My father also rarely buy things for himself (if he has new shoes or clothes, it was a gift from my mom or other close friends), he never used his authority or power as a father and as a husband, and never take any bitterness nor rage to other people, has a unique sense of humor (that only our family understand), sense of humility that is not evident to all but only God knows, and many others.
But the 2 most significant qualities I really admire about him and I'd like to carry on for the next season in my life are:
1. Total dependence on prayer with God- I vividly remember how I asked him a tough question about being a husband. There was an instance when he had a hard time making a decision. I forgot the exact details. It was not a simple decision, but both options contain pros and cons that would be fundamental to how our family will continue. As I asked him what he did, he told me that he knelt beside his bed, formed his hands into prayer, and then offered everything to God.
When times are rough and don't know what to do, laying up everything unto God is the only option that we ought to take.
2. His God-honoring relationship with my mom- Only twice in my life that I heard my father raise his voice towards my mom (when I was a kid, and once here in Canada). I've never witnessed him shouting at my mom. Rarely, do I find them having passionate discussions (or at least they are experts in hiding:-D. where of course mom always wins). He is meek, gentle, peacemaker, diplomatic, and truly never abused his authority as a husband and a father.
I personally ask for God's grace to emanate that quality for him. As I move on to the next chapter in my life. By faith, I wouldn't control, manipulate, or abused the authority of my future family. But rather ask God how could I nurture them so that they could experience joy, peace, love, gentleness, righteousness, and kindness that only the Holy Spirit is able and is willing to provide for those who ask of it.
If there is a verse that could be summed up who truly my father is.. where he always share with me whenever I and my brother had some discussions... it is in James 3:17
But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. - James 3:17
Prayer to God,
God, I just thank you that Allan is my father, only you're the only one who truly knows the extent to which I am truly blessed that Allan is my earthly father. No words can express how much I appreciate you providing Allan as my father.
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